Describing the suicide of his and Ada’s half-sister Lucette, Van Veen (the narrator and main character in VN’s novel Ada, 1969) says that death is only a more complete assortment of the infinite fractions of solitude:
The sky was also heartless and dark, and her body, her head, and particularly those damned thirsty trousers, felt clogged with Oceanus Nox, n,o,x. At every slap and splash of cold wild salt, she heaved with anise-flavored nausea and there was an increasing number, okay, or numbness, in her neck and arms. As she began losing track of herself, she thought it proper to inform a series of receding Lucettes — telling them to pass it on and on in a trick-crystal regression — that what death amounted to was only a more complete assortment of the infinite fractions of solitude.
She did not see her whole life flash before her as we all were afraid she might have done; the red rubber of a favorite doll remained safely decomposed among the myosotes of an unanalyzable brook; but she did see a few odds and ends as she swam like a dilettante Tobakoff in a circle of brief panic and merciful torpor. She saw a pair of new vair-furred bedroom slippers, which Brigitte had forgotten to pack; she saw Van wiping his mouth before answering, and then, still withholding the answer, throwing his napkin on the table as they both got up; and she saw a girl with long black hair quickly bend in passing to clap her hands over a dackel in a half-torn wreath.
A brilliantly illumined motorboat was launched from the — not-too-distant ship with Van and the swimming coach and the oilskin-hooded Toby among the would-be saviors; but by that time a lot of sea had rolled by and Lucette was too tired to wait. Then the night was filled with the rattle of an old but still strong helicopter. Its diligent beam could spot only the dark head of Van, who, having been propelled out of the boat when it shied from its own sudden shadow, kept bobbing and bawling the drowned girl’s name in the black, foam-veined, complicated waters. (3.5)
Odinochestvo ("Solitude," 1905) is a poem by Bunin:
И ветер, и дождик, и мгла
Над холодной пустыней воды.
Здесь жизнь до весны умерла,
До весны опустели сады.
Я на даче один. Мне темно
За мольбертом, и дует в окно.
Вчера ты была у меня,
Но тебе уж тоскливо со мной.
Под вечер ненастного дня
Ты мне стала казаться женой…
Что ж, прощай! Как-нибудь до весны
Проживу и один — без жены…
Сегодня идут без конца
Те же тучи — гряда за грядой.
Твой след под дождём у крыльца
Расплылся, налился водой.
И мне больно глядеть одному
В предвечернюю серую тьму.
Мне крикнуть хотелось вослед:
«Воротись, я сроднился с тобой!»
Но для женщины прошлого нет:
Разлюбила — и стал ей чужой.
Что ж! Камин затоплю, буду пить…
Хорошо бы собаку купить.
The rain and the wind and the murk
Reign over cold desert of fall,
Here, life's interrupted till spring;
Till the spring, gardens barren and tall.
I'm alone in my house, it's dim
At the easel, and drafts through the rims.
The other day, you came to me,
But I feel you are bored with me now.
The somber day's over, it seemed
You were there for me as my spouse.
Well, so long, I will somehow strive
To survive till the spring with no wife.
The clouds, again, have today
Returned, passing, patch after patch.
Your footprints got smudged by the rain,
And are filling with water by the porch.
As I sink into lonesome despair
From the vanishing late autumn’s glare.
I gasped to call after you fast:
Please come back, you're a part of me, dear;
To a woman, there is no past
Once love ends, you're a stranger to her;
I’ll get drunk, I will watch burning logs,
Would be splendid to get me a dog.
(tr. Maya Jouravel)
The poem's last line, Хорошо бы собаку купить (Would be splendid to get me a dog), is the epigraph to Hodasevich's poem Na dache ("At the Dacha," 1913):
Хорошо бы собаку купить.
Ив. Бунин
Целый день твержу без смысла
Неотвязные слова.
В струйном воздухе повисла
Пропыленная листва.
Ах, как скучно жить на даче,
Возле озера гулять!
Все былые неудачи
Вспоминаются опять.
Там клубится пыль за стадом,
А вон там, у входа в сад,
Три девицы сели рядом
И подсолнухи лущат.
Отчего же, в самом деле,
Вянет никлая листва?
Отчего так надоели
Неотвязные слова?
Оттого, что слишком ярки
Банты из атласных лент,
Оттого, что бродит в парке
С книгой Бунина студент.
In his poem Pered zerkalom ("In Front of the Mirror," 1924), with the epigraph Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita (the opening line of Dante's Inferno), Hodasevich mentions odinochestvo (solitude):
Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita.
Я, я, я. Что за дикое слово!
Неужели вон тот — это я?
Разве мама любила такого,
Желто-серого, полуседого
И всезнающего как змея?
Разве мальчик, в Останкине летом
Танцевавший на дачный балах, —
Это я, тот, кто каждым ответом
Желторотым внушает поэтам
Отвращение, злобу и страх?
Разве тот, кто в полночные споры
Всю мальчишечью вкаладывал прыть, —
Это я, тот же самый, который
На трагические разговоры
Научился молчать и шутить?
Впрочем — так и всегда на средине
Рокового земного пути:
От ничтожной причины — к причине,
А глядишь — заплутался в пустыне,
И своих же следов не найти.
Да, меня не пантера прыжками
На парижский чердак загнала.
И Виргилия нет за плечами, —
Только есть Одиночество — в раме
Говорящего правду стекла.
Me, me, me. What a preposterous word!
Can that man there really be me?
Did Mama really love this face,
dull yellow with greying edges
like an ancient know-it-all snake?
Can the boy who danced in summer
at the Ostankino country-house balls
be myself, whose every response
to freshly-hatched poets inspires
their loathing, malice and fear?
Can that youthful energy thrown into
arguing full pelt well after midnight
have been my own, now that I've learnt
when conversation turns to tragedy
better say nothing — or make a joke?
But that's how it always is at the mid point
of the way through your fate on earth:
from one worthless cause to another,
and look, you've wandered away from the path
and can't even trace your own tracks.
Well, there was no leaping panther
chasing me up to my Paris garret,
and there's no Virgil at my shoulder —
there's only my singular self in the frame
of the talking, truthtelling looking-glass.
(transl. Peter Daniels)
In Dante's Divine Comedy Virgil is Dante's guide. The Russian title of the Inferno (the first part of The Divine Comedy) is Ad ("Hell"). The last note of poor mad Aqua (the twin sister of Van's, Ada's and Lucette's mother Marina) ends with the words teper' iz ada (now is out of hell):
Aujourd’hui (heute-toity!) I, this eye-rolling toy, have earned the psykitsch right to enjoy a landparty with Herr Doktor Sig, Nurse Joan the Terrible, and several ‘patients,’ in the neighboring bor (piney wood) where I noticed exactly the same skunk-like squirrels, Van, that your Darkblue ancestor imported to Ardis Park, where you will ramble one day, no doubt. The hands of a clock, even when out of order, must know and let the dumbest little watch know where they stand, otherwise neither is a dial but only a white face with a trick mustache. Similarly, chelovek (human being) must know where he stands and let others know, otherwise he is not even a klok (piece) of a chelovek, neither a he, nor she, but ‘a tit of it’ as poor Ruby, my little Van, used to say of her scanty right breast. I, poor Princesse Lointaine, très lointaine by now, do not know where I stand. Hence I must fall. So adieu, my dear, dear son, and farewell, poor Demon, I do not know the date or the season, but it is a reasonably, and no doubt seasonably, fair day, with a lot of cute little ants queuing to get at my pretty pills.
[Signed] My sister’s sister who teper’
iz ada (‘now is out of hell’) (1.3)
Darkbloom ('Notes to Ada'): aujourd’hui, heute: to-day (Fr., Germ.).
Princesse Lointaine: Distant Princess, title of a French play.
According to Van, Aqua's real destination was Terra the Fair:
Actually, Aqua was less pretty, and far more dotty, than Marina. During her fourteen years of miserable marriage she spent a broken series of steadily increasing sojourns in sanatoriums. A small map of the European part of the British Commonwealth — say, from Scoto-Scandinavia to the Riviera, Altar and Palermontovia — as well as most of the U.S.A., from Estoty and Canady to Argentina, might be quite thickly prickled with enameled red-cross-flag pins, marking, in her War of the Worlds, Aqua’s bivouacs. She had plans at one time to seek a modicum of health (‘just a little grayishness, please, instead of the solid black’) in such Anglo-American protectorates as the Balkans and Indias, and might even have tried the two Southern Continents that thrive under our joint dominion. Of course, Tartary, an independent inferno, which at the time spread from the Baltic and Black seas to the Pacific Ocean, was touristically unavailable, though Yalta and Altyn Tagh sounded strangely attractive… But her real destination was Terra the Fair and thither she trusted she would fly on libellula long wings when she died. Her poor little letters from the homes of madness to her husband were sometimes signed: Madame Shchemyashchikh-Zvukov (‘Heart rending-Sounds’). (1.3)
Terra is Latin for earth (Terra Incognita, 1931, is a story by VN). Earth is one of the four elements. Three other elements are water, air and fire. The three elements that destroy Marina (who dies of cancer and whose body is burnt, according to her instructions), Lucette and Demon (Van's and Ada's father) are fire, water and air:
Numbers and rows and series — the nightmare and malediction harrowing pure thought and pure time — seemed bent on mechanizing his mind. Three elements, fire, water, and air, destroyed, in that sequence, Marina, Lucette, and Demon. Terra waited. (3.1)
Aqua's last note is addressed to Van (whom Aqua believed to be her son) and Demon Veen, Aqua's husband who perishes in a mysterious airplane disaster:
Furnished Space, l’espace meublé (known to us only as furnished and full even if its contents be ‘absence of substance’ — which seats the mind, too), is mostly watery so far as this globe is concerned. In that form it destroyed Lucette. Another variety, more or less atmospheric, but no less gravitational and loathsome, destroyed Demon.
Idly, one March morning, 1905, on the terrace of Villa Armina, where he sat on a rug, surrounded by four or five lazy nudes, like a sultan, Van opened an American daily paper published in Nice. In the fourth or fifth worst airplane disaster of the young century, a gigantic flying machine had inexplicably disintegrated at fifteen thousand feet above the Pacific between Lisiansky and Laysanov Islands in the Gavaille region. A list of ‘leading figures’ dead in the explosion comprised the advertising manager of a department store, the acting foreman in the sheet-metal division of a facsimile corporation, a recording firm executive, the senior partner of a law firm, an architect with heavy aviation background (a first misprint here, impossible to straighten out), the vice president of an insurance corporation, another vice president, this time of a board of adjustment whatever that might be —
‘I’m hongree,’ said a maussade Lebanese beauty of fifteen sultry summers.
‘Use bell,’ said Van, continuing in a state of odd fascination to go through the compilation of labeled lives:
— the president of a wholesale liquor-distributing firm, the manager of a turbine equipment company, a pencil manufacturer, two professors of philosophy, two newspaper reporters (with nothing more to report), the assistant controller of a wholesome liquor distribution bank (misprinted and misplaced), the assistant controller of a trust company, a president, the secretary of a printing agency —
The names of those big shots, as well as those of some eighty other men, women, and silent children who perished in blue air, were being withheld until all relatives had been reached; but the tabulatory preview of commonplace abstractions had been thought to be too imposing not to be given at once as an appetizer; and only on the following morning did Van learn that a bank president lost in the closing garble was his father. (3.7)
Van does not realize that his father died, because Ada (who could not pardon Demon his forcing Van to give her up) managed to persuade the pilot to destroy his machine in midair.