Subject
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
From
Date
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EDNOTE: See end
Subject: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what "they" call it the "other side. "Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road.
It's as plain and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for
us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook & Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
THE CHICKEN: Après moi le déluge.
----------------------------------------------------------
Editor's Assignment: "Why did the chicken cross the road?
HUMBERT HUMBERT: ?
LUZHIN: ?
ADA: ?
Subject: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what "they" call it the "other side. "Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road.
It's as plain and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for
us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook & Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
THE CHICKEN: Après moi le déluge.
----------------------------------------------------------
Editor's Assignment: "Why did the chicken cross the road?
HUMBERT HUMBERT: ?
LUZHIN: ?
ADA: ?