I was taking a walk in the Ostrova (a quiet and
most inspiring park area in St. Petersburg, near which I happen to live)
yesterday, when another interesting combination occurred to me. The little piece
below can be titled
A RECIPE
BARON
KLIM
D’AVIDOV
+ AI
= BARIN,
AVOID
MILK
I
VODA
(anglo-russ., "Master, avoid milk and water")
BARON KLIM D'AVIDOV is the name that existed
only in the imagination of Walter C. Keyway, Esq., an unfortunate English
tourist whom Baron Klim Avidov (anagram of Vladimir Nabokov) catapulted
with an uppercut into a porter's lodge for remarking how clever it was to
drop the first letter of one's name in order to use it as a particule,
at the Gritz, in Venezia Rossa (1.36). Aï is a champagne
that Van, Ada and Lucette drink at Ursus, the best Franco-Estotian restaurant in
Manhattan Major (2.8).
As I pointed out in my note on dobro,
"Gritz" hints at M-me Gritsatsuev, a character of Ilf and Petrov's "The Twelve
Chairs," whom Ostap Bender marries in Stargorod. Stargorod is an invented city
in which Bender first meets Vorob'yaninov (chapter V: "The Great
Combinator"). It happens in the lodge of dvornik (yardman) Tikhon,
Vorob'yaninov's former servant. Upon seeing Vorob'yaninov (who Tikhon
thinks has arrived in Paris and whom he calls
barin*), Ostap promptly gives the already tipsy
dvornik one rouble and sends him out of his lodge. A couple of
hours later Tikhon appears dead drunk. Surprised Ostap asks him
how one can get so drunk on but one rouble. "One can," is all Tikhon
is able to say in reply. If he could give a more detailed
answer, he might have said: Barin, ne nado pit' moloka i vody
("Master, avoid milk and water").
By the way, BARIN = BRAIN = BRIAND - D (dobro). Briand
is Aristide Briand,
1862-1932, a French politician who is mentioned in Ilf and Petrov's "The Golden
Calf" (Brian - eto golova, "Briand has good brains indeed," as old
residents of Chernomorsk put it). BRIAND + CHÂTEAU = CHÂTEAUBRIAND. But this is a different story
altogether.
*The word barin also occurs in
Ada. Trofim Fartukov, the coachman in Ardis the Second, calls that Van:
Barin, a barin, dazhe skvoz' kozhanyi fartuk ne stal by ya trogat' etu
frantsuzskuyu devku ("Master, even through a leathern apron I
wouldn't have thought of touching this French wench [Blanche, whom Trofim
later marries]"): 1.41.
Alexey Sklyarenko