Love him or hate him, former Kotaku writer Florian Eckhardt has a special sense of humor. So special that he's over at Wired Digital's blog Table of Malcontents, writing under the unbelievably fake name of "John Brownlee." Well, Flor sent along something he'd tapped out, saying that Kotaku-land might be interested. Before we delve on in, know that this is slash fiction written at the request of fellow ToM blogger Annalee Newitz. Okay! On to Florian:

Pikachu. Lightning of my life, Charizard of my loins. My sin, my soul. Pee-ka-choo: the tip of the tongue pressed behind the teeth, followed by a sneeze. Pee. Ka. Choo.

He was Peeka, plain Peeka, in the morning, standing two foot three on one paw. He was Pika in the Pokeball He was Chewie at the gym. He was PUSSY in the Pokedex. But in my arms he was always Pikachu.

Did he have a precursor? He did, indeed he did. In point of fact, there might have been no Pikachu at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial lightning-struck ferret...

With horrified apologies to Vladimir Nabokov. Blame Annalee.

Interesting Bashcraft fact: When I was in university, I actually lived round the corner of where Nabokov wrote Lolita. Brian Ashcraft