EDNOTE. Translator Sklyarenko replies to Oleg
Dorman. As editor may I note that all of the translators involved are quite
welcome to voice their thoughts here.
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2003 11:35 AM
Subject: Re: Fw: Comparative Ada translations
Although, as one of the performers in the
translation circus, I am not supposed to respond to critical comments from the
audience, especially coming from people who occupy the gallery seats
and, pollice verso, demand that dead and wounded bodies be quickly
taken away and given to the lions, I hope that the present brief reply won't
meet any objections of the jury.
In his eloquent, but somewhat ungrammatical, attack on the
translators of Ada, Mr. Dorman suggests, inter alia, that the correct
Russian translation of Demon's words in 1.38, "It's incredible that a young boy
should control his father's liquor intake," would go as follows:
"[Eto neslykhanno, chtoby yunosha] ukazyval ottsu skol'ko
pit'."
But that is a paraphrase, one of the worst crimes that a translator can
commit! The suggested Russian phrase would befit a drunken yokel, a petty
tyrant in his own family, and not the American aristocrat of Russo-Irish
descent. Besides, it doesn't render Demon's slightly humorous
tone here.
With the permission of the members of the jury, I would like to say
that, on the whole, the characters' speech is one of the weakest spots in all
published versions of the Russian Ada. Nabokov's heroes are often made
to speak a foul and vulgar language which is not characteristic of
them, especially as Russian happens to be their mother tongue. The poetic
Russian of Pushkin and Nabokov, but not the wretched Soviet variety! That's why
I tried so hard to avoid the "Sovjargon" and "Soljournalese" in my version. If I
have completely achieved that, is of course another question.
I won't enter the polemics with Mr. Dorman about the essence of
translation. I would limit myself to saying that, after some eight years of
work, I have arrived at the conclusion that Ada can be perfectly
translated into the poetic and precise Russian. The miraculousness with which
the act of translating occurs, is now in itself such a pleasure and gives such a
gratification that one needs no other reward.
Alexey Sklyarenko, translator from St. Petersburg
p. s. The best Russian translator of Proust is Adrian Frankovski (1888 -
1942). His translation of "Du cote de chez Swann" (1934) remains unsurpassed.
Frankovski died in the besieged Leningrad, of hunger.
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2003 2:54
AM
Subject: Fw: Comparative Ada
translations
EDNOTE. Moscow filmmaker Oleg Dorman offers
heartfelt thoughts on Russian translations of Nabokov. Translation of
belletristic prose is always difficult, more art than science. Translation of
VN is an extreme case. Nabokov readers are especially fortunate that the
author translated (and/or revised) much of his own work and that his gifted
son undertook still more. As for other translators, I can only suggest
(in addition to superb command of English and Russian) that a close
study of VN's own translations provide the best preparation.
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 1:49 PM
Subject: Comparative Ada translations
Dear Friends,
I has never yielded to the
temptation to discuss Russian translations of Nabokov's prose in public. I am
sure that the only sensible position, the only productive criticism
here, is to make a translation yourself. But as the interpreters themselves
proposed to talk over the results of their absolutely noble and selfless work,
I feel I may let out a fly from the ointment and say that all the
presented translations and commentaries, as well as all other translations of
Nabokov into Russian are catastrophically awful, totally unacceptable, and
often mock the original. The incomparably clear and rich sound of Nabokov's
English turns into the resonant rattling of a rusty tincan attached to a
cat's tail. I do know myself that such philippic is indefensible
especially because I speak about the whole -- not about the details. I can
only propose for instance (not to start a theoretical dispute) that Russian
syntax, the Russian sentence cannot store as much as English, and the
structure of Nabokov's phrase and period should perhaps be rather different,
boldly different in English and in Russian. What is light and natural in the
English Nabokov becomes unavoidably forced and clumsy in supposed-Russian
translations. Like (forgive me, please) the pedestrian tricks of an old
clown.
Very often the same thought, the same garland of images cannot be
arranged in one Russian period as it perfectly as is done in English. But
surely Nabokov bewitches his translators. Or how can we explain (just
one example, just one and childishly simple at that), why all of them use
some artificial construction instead of clear Russian "UKAZYVAL OTCU, SKOL'KO
PIT'"?
Translating Nabokov's English
with peculiar Russian words (like MREYAT', ISPOD, BREKFASTAT' and
others) makes the super-subtle author a slot-machine, a vulgar buffoon
who mechanically reacts to everything in the same words.
We do have in
Russian an example of a congenial translation of a writer congenial to
Nabokov. It is Nikolay Lubimov's Marcel Proust.
But it is of course a
miracle - which a repetition of a miracle can only be.
Forgive me again, - but someone should say
it frankly one day.