Subject: more on K/C/S (C to be eliminated from the English
Language)
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German,which was the other possibility.
As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would
become known as "Euro-English."
In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c." Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.
In
the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach
the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer
peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z," and "w" with
"v."
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten
styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
If zis mad you smil pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!
ZANK YO
-- Michael Graubart, 18 Laitwood Road, LONDON,
SW12 9QL, U.K.